Israel 2014 – Learning Strength

A few days into our trip and things became real to me today.

The hype died down yesterday. All of the negative circumstances were up against my positive attitude and the more that I tried, the harder the struggle became. This isn’t the first time I have gone through something like this, a missions trip or a retreat. I put myself in a place that I am certain God brought me to and after a few days or sometimes hours, I realize I am in the middle of an emotional breakdown. This is usually because I am out of my comfort zone. Isn’t that just like us though? My prayers go from “God, send me, I’ll do anything!” to “God, send me home, I’ll do anything!” all in one moment.

I like to think that I am better at it (change, transition, resilience) now and that gets me in trouble.

Over the past few days I have been focused more on myself. Unintentionally my heart began hardening against others on this trip. There is only one explanation for that; I don’t like what they are reflecting on me. Clearly they aren’t doing or saying anything wrong or different and this is my problem. Consequently, I am used to being alone and prefer it over socializing. Our reading last night was 1 Corinthians 6 and it convicted me. Verse 6 asks why one Christian is going against another in the first place, in front of unbelievers. ‘The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?’ Verse 7.

So I analyzed my problem. I couldn’t come up with a logical explanation of why I was allowing the enemy to defeat me and ruin this tremendous, life-altering experience. Wouldn’t I rather be wronged than the one wrong? Of course! I finished reading the chapter. Verse 11 says, ‘…but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.’ I prayed that God would move in me and that I would get out of the way.

That is what happened today. I looked up again and fixed my eyes. I worshipped, I gave thanks and I trusted Jesus. All of a sudden I could count the number of days until I get to sleep in my bed again or take a shower in my own bathroom. I smiled, took a deep breath and claimed victory in Christ.

‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.’ Philippians 4:12-13

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~ by Celebration Missions on May 24, 2014.

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